Altered Expectations
by cein
Summary: part 4 - Dave's first day as a 'guinea pig'
1. Weaver on the warpath

TITLE: Altered Expectations - part 1/?  
  
AUTHOR: Ceindreadh  
  
EMAIL: cein@eircom.net  
  
CATEGORY: humor/other  
  
RATING: PG-15  
  
SPOILERS: last episode seen 'Bygones'  
  
Last relevant episode 'Blood Sugar Sex Magic'  
  
ARCHIVE: yes  
  
DISCLAIMER: "ER" and all its characters belong to Warner Bros. No infringement of their copyright is intended. This story was written for the enjoyment of "ER" fans everywhere, and may be downloaded for your own pleasure.  
  
Part 1 - Weaver on the warpath  
  
"What do you mean, I can't fire him? I just did." Kerry looked at the head of the Resident's Review Board in annoyance. "I'm the Chief of the Emergency Department, and I don't want him on my staff any longer."  
  
"I'm afraid it's not that simple," replied Dr. Marsh. "If Dr. Malucci were an Attending, then his employment *would* fall within your jurisdiction. But as he's still a Resident, it falls to *us* to make the decision whether or not he should be terminated. All *you* can do is report him to us, and let us take whatever steps we deem appropriate."  
  
"Well consider him reported," snapped Kerry. "I want him fired."  
  
"Ah. I'm afraid that we can't do that," said Marsh.  
  
Kerry frowned at him, "And why not?" she asked, icily.  
  
"Because he wasn't given the required 'written warning' as laid out in his employment contract," said Romano, as he walked into the room.  
  
Kerry jumped in surprise. "Robert," she said, with icy politeness. "What brings *you* here? I thought that the disciplinary matters of Resident's would be beneath your notice."  
  
"Oh, I notice *everything*," replied Romano, smiling at her. "Especially when it relates to the ER. After all, the Emergency Department is the front line of the hospital. And anything that affects it, reflects on the whole of County General."  
  
Kerry snorted in disbelief, before returning to the matter at hand. "What do you mean, he didn't get a 'written warning'? Do you *know* how many letters of reprimand he has on his file?"  
  
"None of which specifically state that future infractions will result in his immediate dismissal. Which simply put means that we have to warn him in writing that the next time he screws up, he's out. That's the proper procedure," replied Romano smugly. He just *loved* yanking Kerry's chain. "And above all, we must adhere to the 'proper procedures' in cases like these."  
  
"Like you did with Dr. Legaspi?" snapped Kerry.  
  
Romano was slightly taken aback. Kerry must have been more annoyed than he had thought, if she left herself open like *that*. Well, he was never one to pass up an opportunity to make her squirm.  
  
"I deeply regret that I let my emotions cloud my judgment when I fired Dr. Legaspi." He smiled insincerely. "But as you know, I realized my error and retracted her termination because I knew that I hadn't followed proper procedures…unless you believe there was *another* reason why I did it?" He looked Kerry straight in the eye and was amused to watch her obvious discomfort.  
  
"Well, that's not relevant to the matter at hand," said Kerry, quickly, before turning back to Dr. Marsh.  
  
"Romano 1, Weaver 0," thought Romano with a glow of satisfaction. Of course, that was just *today's* score so far…he was pretty sure that he was *much* further ahead on points than *that*.  
  
"So what you're saying, Dr. Marsh, is that Malucci can just walk back into the ER and there's not a damn thing I can do to stop him?"  
  
"Under the circumstances, yes," replied Marsh. He saw Kerry's look of annoyance and added hastily. "However, the board has reviewed his case, and feels that in his case, a 'written warning' on his file, is indeed merited. As is a period of unpaid suspension."  
  
Kerry nodded approvingly. "So we kick him out for a while and if…or rather *when* he screws up again, then he's gone, no more warnings, no more chances. He's out of here for good, finito, right?" Well, that wasn't too bad, she thought to herself. Malucci can't go a week without getting into trouble. He'll be out the door so fast; he won't know what's hit him…and best of all, his firing will be blamed on the Resident's Review Board…not *me*.  
  
"Furthermore," added Marsh. "We feel that given the animosity between both of you, that it would be in Dr. Malucci's best interests if he was supervised and evaluated by a more 'impartial' attending."  
  
"Yeah," commented Romano. "After all, we wouldn't any accusations of 'bias'. I mean I seem to remember some angry murmurings when the Chief Resident's position was up for grabs. Something about the rules being bent in favor of one candidate due to her gender."  
  
Romano was *really* enjoying his needling of Kerry today. In all honesty, he didn't give a damn one way or another about Malucci. Hell, residents were a dime a dozen. In fact, the only reason he had bothered to intervene at all was because it was obvious that Kerry had a strong dislike for the guy. That in itself was reason enough, he felt, to keep him around…plus there was the fact that the hospital lawyers always got a bit edgy about firing docs who were involved in lawsuits. Some crap about discrimination or it being an admission of liability. Whatever. That was *their* problem. But for the salary they made, it would have been dumb *not* to listen to their advice.  
  
"So we'll put Malucci on a couple of months suspension. Keep him supervised when he gets back to work, if he screws up, then he's out."  
  
"Fine," said Kerry.  
  
"Anyway, if he's as incompetent as you say he is, then it shouldn't be too long before he messes up again."  
  
"Let's just hope he doesn't kill anyone else while we're waiting," said Kerry, a note of sarcasm in her voice.  
  
Romano smiled at her, "Well…we'll just have to make sure that he's *adequately* supervised, won't we?"  
  
Kerry bit her lip, unable to think of a snappy comeback.  
  
"Romano 2, Weaver 0," thought Romano, as he continued. "So all you have to do is find some dumb schmuck to supervise him and keep him out of your way."  
  
"Do you have a schmuck, er I mean, Attending in mind?" asked Marsh.  
  
Kerry thought for a few minutes and then smiled, "I know just the person."  
  
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"Kerry, you cannot be serious," said Luka, in disbelief.  
  
"I'm afraid so," said Kerry, trying to instill a regretful tone into her voice. "The Resident's Review Board *and* Risk Management feel that it would be inadvisable for Dr. Malucci to run any trauma's on his own, at least for the immediate future. And after our, ahem, little altercation, they also feel that it would be better if I wasn't the one to do it."  
  
"So you picked me?"  
  
Kerry nodded. "I considered Mark, but I felt that he might not be…strict enough with Malucci, and I trust that you will keep a proper watch on him." She smiled at Luka, "I *do* appreciate you taking on the responsibility."  
  
"Not that I have a choice," muttered Luka, under his breath. Out loud he said, "This is payback for me tying those cans to your crutch last April, isn't it?"  
  
Kerry looked at him in surprise. "Dr. Kovac…surely you don't believe that I would be so petty and unreasonable as to seek revenge for a simple little prank?" Turning to go, she allowed herself a brief smile of satisfaction. Truly, revenge was dish best served cold.  
  
Luka watched her limp away. "I should have used the superglue on the handle instead of Malucci's hand," he muttered.  
  
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	2. Malucci gets a mentor

Altered Expectations - 02  
  
Malucci gets a mentor  
  
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Chapter 2 -  
  
Previously on ER - Kerry found out that she couldn't fire Dave until he'd been given a 'written warning'. She had to be content with having him suspended for 2 months and put on probation for a further 6. To avoid any accusations of bias, it was 'suggested' that she assign his supervision and evaluations to another attending, so she picked Luka (denying that this was revenge for the April Fools day prank with the tin cans)  
  
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Dave dumped the handful of coins on the table and cursed under his breath. Half an hour spent rummaging down the back of the couch had yielded three bucks in loose change, a half empty pack of condoms, a broken comb and most worrying of all, half a set of false teeth. Dave didn't even want to think about how *they'd* gotten there. He was pretty sure that none of his dates had been into 'falsies'…well, at least not of the dental variety. Maybe the previous tenants of his apartment had lost them there. Anyway, they were now in a box of old junk waiting to be brought to the pawnbroker if things got really desperate…which might not be too long now, the way things were going.  
  
He debated phoning the clinic again to remind them that he'd be available for as many shifts as they needed for the next two months. But the last time he'd phoned, Carla the shift manager had assured him that his name was on the top of their list, and that she'd personally do her best to see that he got as much as they could give him. And since he hadn't done his usual date/sex/split routine with her, he was pretty sure that she'd do what she could.  
  
Dave slumped back into his chair and sighed. Okay, things could have been worse, right? True, he was facing a two-month suspension without pay…but thank God, he at least had a job to go back to. Man, for a few days after Weaver had 'fired' him, he had been convinced that this was it…that he had finally blown his chances. The phone call from Dr. Marsh, the head of the residents review board had come just as he had been contemplating where he'd be least likely to die of boredom while working…MacDonald's or Burger King.  
  
Granted, it was going to be a bit of a bummer having to report his every move to one of the Attendings…and not being able to run Trauma's on his own was going to suck…but it sure beat the alternative. Now his only worry was how he was going to fund his two-month 'vacation'. Fortunately, he'd paid the current months rent a few days before the 'firing', so at least he had a roof over his head. And he was sure he could sweet talk the landlord into giving him a few weeks extension on next month's payment. Then all he had to do was avoid the guy until he got back to work at County…oh, and grovel to payroll long enough for an advance on his salary. No problem. Now all he had to figure out was how he was going to *eat* for the next eight weeks.  
  
Dave considered his options. The blood bank would be good for a few bucks, but they'd only take him once every two months or so, and he'd been - for free - only three weeks earlier. There was the old reliable sperm donation…that had kept his head above water for a while in college, but the trouble with that was that he wouldn't see any cash for at least six months, and he didn't think his bank manager would appreciate being asked for a loan 'just until his wanking money came through'. Nope, he was going to have to think of something else.  
  
Jamming his hands into his pockets, Dave felt a piece of paper and fished it out, hoping it might be a thousand dollar bill that someone had kindly hidden there for him. Unfortunately it was just a piece of paper. Dave frowned as he read what was written on it 'Merrontex Laboratories' followed by a phone number and address. Now he remembered what it was. One of his drinking buddies had given him the name of this company that was always looking for human guinea pigs to test drugs on and was supposed to pay handsomely. Only the fact that they required most of their 'pigs' to be resident on the premises for varying periods of time had dissuaded Dave from checking them out before. Well, that and the fact that you never knew just what you might end up having to test.  
  
While Dave didn't really believe any of those rumors he'd heard about guys ending up with extra ears or finding certain parts of their anatomy growing beyond recognition, he knew there was always a risk associated with new drugs.  
  
When working in Grenada he had treated a young man who'd had an adverse reaction to a drug he'd been testing. The guy had been paid a fair amount of compensation…but he'd told Dave he'd give it all away to be able to 'get it up' again.  
  
Dave stuck the note back in his pocket. He'd do something about it tomorrow. Tonight he had a few cans of beer in the fridge, enough cash between his wallet and the table to order a pizza, and best of all, the monthly wet t-shirt contest was showing his local porn channel. He sighed regretfully as he remembered that the subscription was due in the next few weeks. Oh well, maybe he could sell those false teeth to help raise the money for it. After all, if he was going to spend two months in his apartment, he was going to *need* some entertainment. And food…apart from the cans of beer, his fridge contained a carton of what claimed to be milk…but looked more like yogurt, a block of cheese…well, that would be okay once he cut the mould off it, and a half tin of beans, left over from his last breakfast at home.  
  
After phoning for his pizza, Dave settled back on the couch and started surfing through the channels, finally finding something interesting, just as the doorbell rang.  
  
"Hey, that was quick," he started to say as he pulled open the door. His grin died away as he saw Luka standing there glowering. "Um…hello Dr. Kovac," said Dave.  
  
Luka pushed his way past Dave into the apartment. "Come in, why don't you," muttered Dave under his breath, shutting the door and then following Luka.  
  
"If I'd known you were coming, I'd have ordered a larger pizza," said Dave, a note of mild sarcasm in his voice. Shit, what did the guy want anyhow?  
  
"Shut up, Doctor Malucci," snapped Luka. "This is not a social call. I…" He was momentarily distracted by an image on the TV screen. "My God, are those things real? I have never seen a pair as big as *those* before!"  
  
Dave blushed as he scrambled for the remote control, and switched off 'Dish of the day' just as the presenter was about to slice into one of the enormous watermelons that had caught Luka's eye. Turning to the older man, he said, "So? What are you doing here?"  
  
Luka pulled his thoughts back together. "Dr. Weaver has informed me that I am to responsible for you once you return to County," he told Dave.  
  
"Oh fu…sh…crap," said Dave. "She picked *you*?" He looked at Luka in horror. Not that he disliked the guy…heck, Kovac was one of the few doc's that hadn't made any snide comments about Dave's non-US medical qualifications. But he was still one of the more intimidating doc's in the ER, and when Dave had found out that he was going to be strictly supervised, he had hoped to get someone who *hadn't* deliberately killed someone. Mark would have been his first choice; after all, the guy was a bit of a wuss by all accounts…pretty easy going most of the time. Plus, he *had* tried to get Weaver to change her mind about firing him.  
  
"Believe me, I am no more happy about it than you are," snapped Luka. "I do not want to be your supervisor any more than you want me looking over your shoulder. But that is the way it has to be, and I have agreed to it. If you screw up again, you will not have to worry about Dr. Weaver 'firing your ass'; you will have to worry about me kicking it. You will do what I say, when I say it. If you have questions, you ask me. If you have disagreements with my diagnoses or my methods then I expect you to tell me them in an articulate and educated manner. I will not settle for "trust me" as a diagnosis. Do you understand?"  
  
Dave swallowed nervously, feeling glad that he wasn't a mugger. "Yes Dr. Kovac," he gulped.  
  
"Good. Then we understand each other," said Luka. "Since you're going to have some free time, I would advice you to start catching up on your text books, as I shall be testing you at frequent intervals to prepare you for your in-service exams."  
  
"Wait a minute, Weaver's getting you to do this, isn't she?" asked Dave. "Man, isn't my suspension punishment enough?"  
  
Luka looked at him in surprise. "You feel that this is meant to be a *punishment*?" He shook his head, "No…this is intended purely for your benefit…and that of your patients. Dr. Weaver did not order or suggest that I do this for you. It is all my own idea. I have agreed to take on the responsibility of supervising you, and I take my duties seriously."  
  
Dave's jaw *could* have dropped further, but it would have required major orthopedic work. "You're doing this stuff when you don't have to?"  
  
Luka noted his shocked expression and commented. "Believe me Dr. Malucci, by the time you are finished your six months probation, you *will* be a competent doctor. In fact by the time *I* am done with you, you will have published in the annals, so start thinking of a topic to write about. Either you will be a shining star or you will be not be working at County." He patted Dave on the shoulder and smiled.  
  
Somehow the smile made Dave even more nervous.  
  
"I will see that you are sent a copy of all the latest ER manuals and guides," added Luka. "You will see to it that you are familiar with every single ER protocol that is in use at County before you walk back into the ER."  
  
Dave nodded silently.  
  
"I will see you in two months," said Luka, before walking away.  
  
"Oh boy," thought Dave as he heard the door shut behind Luka. "This is going to be interesting."  
  
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To be continued 


	3. Money for nothing?

Altered Expectations  
  
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Chapter 3  
  
Previously on ER - Kerry found out that she couldn't fire Dave, but had to be content with putting him on 2 months unpaid suspension followed by 6 months probation. She ordered Luka to supervise his probation. On his own initiative, Luka told Dave that he was going to make him into a competent doctor.  
  
Dave realized that he was going to find it impossible to make ends meet while on suspension, and considered becoming a human guinea pig for a "Merrontex Laboratories' a drugs company.  
  
Note - Both Sarah and I are well aware of the similarities between segments of this fic and her hilarious fic 'Wired for sound'  
  
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"Oh boy," thought Dave as he heard the door shut behind Luka. "This is going to be interesting."  
  
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A few days later, when the last of the pizza had finally been eaten, Dave found himself sitting in the "Merrontex Laboratories' offices. He fiddled awkwardly at the collar of his shirt, wishing he hadn't bothered dressing up for this interview. But he had figured that it wouldn't hurt to try and make a good impression. This was his second visit to the labs…he'd already spent several hours there the day before being poked and prodded and tested in an effort to see if he was a suitable candidate…or rather *guinea pig* for their research. Those swab-happy Med Techs had taken scrapings from practically every orifice in his body…along with samples of all his bodily fluids…and he meant *all*.  
  
Dave felt his cheeks redden at the memory of a blonde Med Tech, who looked as if she was barely out of high school, handing him a jar and ordering him into the cubicle to produce a 'sample'. He had innocently told her that he'd already 'pissed in the bottle, thank you very much', only to be totally embarrassed when she had explained sweetly to him just exactly what bodily fluids they were looking for *this* time. She had then handed him a copy of 'Playboy' to 'help him out', and had told him that copies of 'Playgirl' and other magazines were available if he felt they'd be more to his taste.  
  
"Mr. Malucci?" Dave looked up at the sound of his name. It was on the tip of his tongue to correct the white-coated woman as to his title, but he restrained himself. His buddy that had given him the heads up about Merrontex had warned him not to say he was a doctor. "Those guys aren't too fond of scientific types," he had said, before knocking back his vodka. "Sort of like those whatchamacallit's in that mini-series…lizards…yeah, that's it. Maybe those guys are the 'Visitors', only twenty years late." Then he had gone onto a long ramble about how *he* wouldn't have caved in the face of alien invaders, no way man. Dave had mentally tuned him out and concentrated on seeing how quickly he could empty his glass. But the advice had stuck, and it seemed to have worked…so far anyway. At least he had been called back for an interview…that had to be a good sign.  
  
Dave followed the woman into her office and sat down opposite her.  
  
"Mr. Malucci," she repeated. "I'm Doctor Norris, and if you agree to participate in the clinical trials we're about to start, then I'll be your supervisor. Is there anything you wish to know before you make a decision?"  
  
Dave's jaw dropped. "You mean I'm in?" he asked.  
  
"Why yes. I thought that was explained when this interview was set up." Dr. Norris frowned. "I'll have to have a word with Admin. This is what happens when you get temps in. Anyway yes, we've reviewed the data from your physical exam and I have to say that we were *most* impressed with your health and fitness." She regarded him appraisingly before continuing; "It's people like you that we really need here at Merrontex. Unfortunately, too many of the people who apply to help with our research are only in it for a quick buck, and are generally found unsuitable for one reason or another. So, in short, if you wish to back out, then now's the time. Now, do you have any questions?"  
  
Whoa, things were moving waaay too fast for Dave's liking. He'd been expecting an interview where he'd have to charm his way into getting included in whatever study they were working on…he hadn't expected to have the job handed to him on a plate…and as for thinking up questions to ask the interviewer…well, that had always been the part of the 'interview technique' classes that he'd hated in School. Usually when faced with *that* question, the only thing he could think of was to ask was the interviewer doing anything that night…and somehow, he didn't think that would be a good idea in *this* case…although he *had* scored a date with the chick who had interviewed him for a summer job while he'd been in college. He liked to think that the only reason he hadn't got the job was because he'd dumped her the next day…and not because he'd been totally unqualified for it. With an effort, Dave pulled himself back to the present and blurted out, "Um, what sort of stuff would you be testing on me?" There was a slight note of nervousness in his voice. While a part of him was relieved that he was 'in'…and that his money worries could be solved…another part of him was feeling smugly pleased that his body had been so well appreciated - he *knew* he'd seen some approving looks from the med techs when he'd taken off his shirt so they could attach heart monitor leads for the treadmill tests - but there was a nagging voice in his mind warning him about the potential dangers of taking untested drugs. He resolutely put the voice out of his mind. If he didn't take this opportunity, it wouldn't matter *how* healthy he was…he was still going to be broke.  
  
"Well, obviously there are confidentiality issues here," replied Dr. Norris. "But I *can* tell you that we want you to be part of a study in relation to 'anti-rejection' drugs."  
  
Dave frowned. "You mean like organ transplants and stuff? But how…" His eyes widened as the implication hit him. "Wait a minute, you're not gonna stuff a kidney or something in me, are you?" He stood abruptly, sending his chair skidding backwards. "No way man, I've got all my organs and they're working just fine, so I don't need any spares."  
  
"Please sit down, Mr. Malucci," said Dr. Norris, patiently. "I assure you that we have absolutely no intention of adding to your current supply of organs."  
  
Reluctantly, Dave pulled up his chair and sat down.  
  
Dr. Norris continued, "All we intend to do is implant a microscopic set of cells into your abdomen. We'll administer the drug, monitor your condition, and see how long the cells remain viable."  
  
"And if the drug doesn't work, what then?" asked Dave, still a little wary.  
  
"If it doesn't work, the cells will die. The reason we'll only be using a microscopic amount is so that they can be absorbed into your body without causing you any ill effects in the event of their demise."  
  
"You sound as if you're *expecting* that to happen…but what if it doesn't?"  
  
"At this stage of testing on human subjects, we only wish to ascertain their short-term viability with the use of this drug. Once the trial run is over, we'll stop administering the drug and harvest the cells for further research." She noticed Dave's mouth open and spoke quickly to forestall the inevitable question, "The harvesting procedure is a minor one, performed under a local anesthetic. There may be some minor discomfort, but that's all."  
  
Dr. Norris waited a few moments to let him absorb this before continuing, "It's quite possible that the drug will fail to work. Frankly, at this stage, we'll be happy with a four-week survival period. However, you *will* be paid for the full three months of the trials regardless of the outcome."  
  
Dave's face fell at the mention of the time frame. "Oh," he said, gloomily. "I didn't think it'd be that long a trial. I mean, I've got a job to go to in two months time, and I thought that this gig would be shorter than that."  
  
"Oh we only require you to be resident here for the first four weeks," explained Dr. Norris. "But a part of our research protocol requires that the tests take place under normal working and living conditions. Where are you going to be working?"  
  
"County General," replied Dave, without thinking. He cursed under his breath as he saw Dr. Norris's smile fade. "I'm a desk clerk there," he added hastily, breathing a sigh of relief as he saw the smile return. Boy, that was close…he just hoped she wouldn't ask him anything about his 'duties' as a desk clerk. Still, it should be easy enough to bluff his way through any questions…after all, what did Frank and Randi do except sit on their butts answering phones all day, right? A half smile came to Dave's lips at the thought of Randi's butt. Mmm, now that was worth looking at all day, in his opinion. Pity he'd only had one night to…  
  
"Mr. Malucci?" Dr. Norris's voice cut into Dave's memories of that 'one night'. He brought himself back to the present, but made a mental note to call Randi again and see if she was up for a rerun.  
  
"Uh yeah?" said Dave, a little embarrassed as he realized what effect the memories of Randi was having on a certain part of his anatomy. He crossed his legs in an effort to hide it, and tried to muster up an innocent expression, hoping it would work better on Dr. Norris than it had on his third grade teacher when he had tried to deny putting the frog in her desk.  
  
"You will of course be subject to certain restrictions while participating in this study."  
  
"Restrictions?"  
  
"Dietary for one. A healthy eating regimen will have to be followed. We'll supply you with Vitamin supplements. Also you will not be allowed to smoke…" Fine thought Dave, just as well I quit in high school.  
  
"Or drink." Uh-oh, thought Dave, three months sober…well, he'd had to do it before when cash had been *really* low…he could manage it.  
  
"Or engage in sexual intercourse..."  
  
"What?" yelped Dave. "Um, I mean, I see." He tried to compose himself, but inwardly he was groaning. Oh man, this was going to be one heck of a long three months. But wait…she'd only said 'sexual *intercourse*'…there were plenty of other forms of sex, and luckily enough, he was pretty damn good at all of them.  
  
"Or indeed any forms of sexual contact."  
  
Dave moaned silently. This was going to be torture.  
  
"So, are you willing to do this?"  
  
Dave considered the prospect of three months without any drinking or sex…then he considered the prospect of two months without food. It wasn't an easy choice, but finally he smiled at Dr. Norris and said, "Where do I sign?"  
  
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To be continued 


	4. Part 4

TITLE: Altered Expectations - part 4/?  
  
AUTHOR: Ceindreadh  
  
EMAIL: cein@eircom.net  
  
CATEGORY: humor/other  
  
RATING: PG-15  
  
SPOILERS: last episode seen 'Lockdown'  
  
Last relevant episode 'Blood Sugar Sex Magic'  
  
DISCLAIMER: "ER" and all its characters belong to Warner Bros. No infringement of their copyright is intended. This story was written for the enjoyment of "ER" fans everywhere, and may be downloaded for your own pleasure. Altered Expectations  
  
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Part 4  
  
Previously on ER - Kerry found out that she couldn't fire Dave, but had to be content with putting him on 2 months unpaid suspension followed by 6 months probation. She ordered Luka to supervise his probation. On his own initiative, Luka told Dave that he was going to make him into a competent doctor. Dave realized that he was going to find it impossible to make ends meet while on suspension, and decided to become a human guinea pig for a "Merrontex Laboratories' a drugs company. He was accepted into their clinical trials to test out a new 'anti-rejection' drug.  
  
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Luka put a package down on the admit desk. "Randi, there should be a courier arriving shortly to collect this package. Would you be so kind as to make sure that he gets it?"  
  
Randi eyed the package curiously. "You sending Malucci a present or something?" she asked dryly as she read the address on it.  
  
"These are some medical journals and notes for him to peruse while he is suspended," explained Luka. "I have told him that I expect him to put his 'free time' to good use."  
  
Randi snorted derisively. "No offence Dr. Kovac, but I think any books that he's gonna be reading are going to have a *lot* more pictures in them, if you know what I mean." She winked at Luka.  
  
Kerry was filling in a chart at the other end of the desk. Hearing the conversation she looked up and commented, "I hope that you're not billing County for that courier."  
  
Luka ignored her snide comment and replied to Randi, "If you are referring to such magazines as Playboy or Hustler, I am quite sure that he will not let such publications distract him from his studies."  
  
This time it was Kerry who snorted derisively.  
  
Luka looked at her and said, "Did you wish to say something, Dr. Weaver?"  
  
"Only that I feel you're wasting your time trying to 'educate' Dr. Malucci," she replied. "After two years at County, he's still no better a doctor than he was on his first day."  
  
"Maybe he was just never given adequate training and supervision.an oversight which I intend to remedy," replied Luka, evenly. He could see that the barb had hit home and he congratulated himself. "And you do not need to worry about the courier, I shall of course be covering the cost myself." Turning, he walked away.  
  
"Kovac 1, Weaver 0," thought Randi with amusement. She briefly considered opening the package and sticking something embarrassing in it, but realized that since it was going to Malucci, there was probably nothing sufficiently embarrassing in the entire hospital. Rumor had it that some of the surgical nurses had managed to obtain some nude photos of Romano and were willing to part with them for a sufficient sum. But there was 'embarrassing', and then there was plain scary, and she knew which category *those* would fit in to. Now if there was any nude photos of Dr. *Kovac* going round.those she would pay to see.of course, so would half the nurses in the ER. Mmm, Randi stared after Luka's retreating figure and wished that there was some sort of dress code that would prevent certain of the male doctors from hiding their butts with lab coats. Man, that was one thing to be said for Malucci.he *always* knew how to dress. Mmm, those muscular arms almost bursting out from his scrub tops.those tight jeans that showed off his ass to perfection.and boy, what an ass.  
  
"RANDI!"  
  
Randi pulled herself back to the present to see Weaver looking angrily at her. "Um, yeah Dr. Weaver?"  
  
-----------------  
  
Dave whistled merrily to himself as he packed his rucksack. Or to be more accurate, as he threw a random selection of clothing into it and squashed them down as much as possible. He didn't think he'd need that much clothing. After all, it wasn't as if he was going to be going any place for the next few weeks. So most of the space in the bag was being taken up by CDs, books and stuff like that. He looked at the pile of journals that had been delivered to his apartment the day before and reluctantly put them to one side. It wasn't that he didn't *want* to take them with him.well okay, he *didn't* want to take them. Partly because they weren't exactly his reading matter of choice, but mainly because he didn't want to take the risk that anyone at Merrontex would find out that he was a doctor. It probably wouldn't make any difference. Hell, most likely nobody would even notice.but still, he couldn't take the risk. But he felt slightly guilty as he put them to one side. After all, he *had* promised Luka that he'd 'get his act together'.  
  
Oh crap, thought Dave, realizing that he'd have to tell Luka that he was going to be away for the next few weeks. Not that the guy was going to be keeping tabs on him or anything, but the note with the journals had made it clear that Luka wasn't just going to sit back and wait until Dave returned to County before commencing his 'education'. And while it wasn't really any of Luka's business what Dave did for the next two months, he sort of figured that since the guy was going out of his way to 'help' him, it'd be only good manners to let him know that he wasn't just trying to avoid him but that he had a legitimate reason for not keeping in contact.  
  
Before he could forget about it, he dialed Luka's number - which had been scribbled at the top of the note.  
  
-------------------------  
  
"Go away," muttered Luka, as the noise of the phone ripped through his consciousness. He pulled the pillow over his head and waited for the answering machine to pick it up. Then he remembered that the machine had been broken during his move and he hadn't gotten around to buying a new one. He had meant to replace it, but when he went to the shop, there had been a brand new Playstation on display almost *begging* him to buy it. By the time he had purchased the console and the games and the steering wheel/pedals set that the salesman had assured him were 'must have' accessories, he had forgotten the original purpose of his shopping expedition. He would have gone back on his next day off, but the Zombies had had other ideas. Now he cursed in muffled Croatian as he reached blindly for the phone.  
  
"Odiebi!"  
  
"Uh, Dr. Kovac?" asked Dave, wondering if he'd accidentally misdialed.  
  
Luka frowned as he recognized the voice. "Malucci? What the hell do you mean by phoning me at this hour?"  
  
"Um, it's 10 in the morning. Oh.you were on nights, right? Sorry about that."  
  
Luka sighed as he sat up in the bed. "No, you weren't to know." He rubbed his eyes tiredly. "What do you want?"  
  
"I just thought you should know.I've got a temporary job.and I'm gonna be away for the next few weeks. Just figured I ought to tell you in case, I dunno, in case you were looking for me." As Dave finished speaking, he realized how lame it sounded. As if Dr. Kovac was going to be bothered about what he was doing for the next two months.  
  
"Oh.fine," said Luka, yawning involuntarily. He slid back down in the bed. "Let me know when you get back."  
  
"I will," promised Dave.  
  
"And have fun in your job," added Luka, sliding the handset back onto the phone and pulling the blankets up around him.  
  
-----------------------  
  
Well, 'fun' wasn't exactly the word he would have used to describe it, thought Dave twenty-four hours later.  
  
Lying flat on his back on a gurney waiting for the 'implantation' procedure to get started, he was feeling half nervous, half excited. Nervous because, well, let's face it, who *wouldn't* be a bit freaked out by having something stuck in their body that had no right being there. But a part of him was also pretty excited. After all, the medical trials he was participating in could easily revolutionize the field of organ transplants.or so the blurb on the 'release form' had said. It had said a lot more, but he had figured that was just a lot of legal mumbo-jumbo and had ignored it.  
  
But anyway, he was getting paid to sit around on his ass all day.what more could a guy want. Well, at this moment, Dave wanted something to eat. But he'd been kept on liquids only, since the previous night when he had checked into the labs. Oh well, he was sure they'd feed him *after* the procedure.pretty sure, anyway.  
  
Of course, there were a few 'perks' to this thing already. As was standard with all surgical procedures, it was necessary to shave the relevant area. Dave hadn't been too happy to hear that.at least until Linda had shown up with the razor. Normally he didn't like to let women with sharp objects within two feet of his 'vital statistics', but when they were as blonde and pretty as Linda was, he thought he'd make an exception, and had willingly stripped to the waist.  
  
"Are you comfortable there, Mr. Malucci?" asked Linda, suddenly appearing beside the gurney.  
  
"Sure am," grinned Dave, "But please.call me Dave."  
  
"Okay Dave," smiled Linda as she pulled up Dave's gown and quickly and expertly started setting up for the procedure.  
  
"Hey, why you're doing that?" asked Dave, as Linda set up a screen, which blocked his view of his now exposed abdomen.  
  
"I'm afraid that Dr. Graham doesn't allow the test subjects to watch the procedure," explained Linda. "He's afraid that it'll make them change their minds."  
  
"Aw," said Dave, a note of disappointment in his voice.  
  
Linda patted his hand. "If you want, I can talk you through what's happening?"  
  
"Thanks.I'd like that," said Dave, flashing her a winning smile.  
  
A few minutes later, Dr. Graham breezed into the room. "Is the subject ready?" he asked Linda, while ignoring Dave.  
  
"He's prepped and ready to go," replied Linda. "Implantation site has been disinfected."  
  
"Good," said Graham. "Lidocaine, please."  
  
"We're just going to give you a shot to numb the area," explained Linda. "You'll just feel a little sting."  
  
Dave stifled an exclamation. Jesus, could that guy be any rougher?  
  
He felt something damp being painted onto his abdomen. "Now we're just going to use an ultrasound machine to make sure that Dr. Graham doesn't hit anything."  
  
The hiss and click of the ultrasound machine was the only noise in the room for a few minutes. Then Dave felt a slight pressure on his abdomen. Before he could ask what it was, it was gone.  
  
"Time of implantation 11.30," said Dr. Graham, looking at the clock.  
  
Dave could hear him ripping off his gloves.  
  
"Time noted," said Linda, writing on the chart.  
  
"Okay then," said Graham, walking away without a backward glance.  
  
Linda smiled down at Dave. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"  
  
"That's it?" asked Dave, surprised.  
  
Linda nodded. "Congratulations Dave. How does you feel, knowing that you're a part of medical history."  
  
"Hungry," grinned Dave. "When do I eat?"  
  
--------------------------------  
  
To be continued 


End file.
